Some people think that children should have the freedom to make mistakes, whle others believe that adults should prevent them from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is debated that some people argue that youngsters need to create an error in order to grow.
However
, some individuals opposed
to Add a missing verb
are opposed
such
an idea. I believe that the younger generations should allow
to make some faults to enhance Wrong verb form
be allowed
skills
and gain experiences.
To begin
with, parents will always trying
to shield their Wrong verb form
try
child
from potential harm and Fix the agreement mistake
children
the
safety Correct article usage
apply
come
first. These days, Change the verb form
comes
for instance
, serious crimes such
as kidnapping and sexual harrassment
, Correct your spelling
harassment
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
the
adults Correct article usage
apply
wanted
to protect their children more than before to prevent them from victimization. Change the verb form
to want
In addition
, no one can deny that social media can infleunce
a person in many ways. As a parent, they will try to guide them in the Correct your spelling
influence
right
direction. For example
, a
violent content or Correct article usage
apply
self image
from social networks Add a hyphen
self-image
both
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
the adolescent's Change preposition
apply
mindsets
. Fix the agreement mistake
mindset
However
, I dont
think that children should be limited to Correct your spelling
don't
explore
new things, Wrong verb form
exploring
although
it is important to keep them safe, but with the right
curfew and educations
, surely can deal with Fix the agreement mistake
education
nicely
.
Correct pronoun usage
it nicely
On the other hand
, I believe that the young population should make mistakes
so they can learn from it
. When they know about the consequences first-hand Correct pronoun usage
them
such
as hitting or cursing will cause others feel
hurt Add the particle
to feel
then
same
Correct article usage
the same
mistakes
are likely to happen again. Thus
, it will help them to gain experiences from it. Furthermore
, learning through
their Change preposition
from
mistakes
can help them develop skills
. For example
, critical thinking and problem-solving skills
. These skills
are beneficial in the competitiveness
world by ensuring them to Replace the word
competitive
archieve
their goals in the long runCorrect your spelling
achieve
,
and developing a sense of independence.
In conclusion, despite the Remove the comma
apply
significants
of security and Correct your spelling
significance
right
pathways for young generations, I believe that with a good method of teaching and guidance from adults, they will have their own consciousness about what is Correct article usage
the right
right
and wrong. However
, without making or learning from their mistakes
, they will never be independent owing to lack
of experience and Correct article usage
a lack
skills
. Therefore
, I believe that children should have freedom
to make Add an article
the freedom
mistakes
.Submitted by tifjong on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively and covers both sides of the argument, which is good. To strengthen your task achievement score, ensure that all ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. For example, in the phrase 'same mistakes are likely to happen again,' a bit of rephrasing for clarity could help.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps coherence and cohesion. However, using transition words and phrases more effectively could improve the flow. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'On the other hand' are useful, but ensuring they are placed logically within the context would enhance readability. Also, try to avoid run-on sentences by breaking them into more digestible bits.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, ensuring that they are specific and directly tied to the argument could strengthen your essay. For instance, detailing exactly how 'violent content' affects adolescents' mindsets would give more weight to your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets up the essay and your opinion, which is a strong start.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and reinforces your argument, bringing your essay to a cohesive end.
logical structure
Your essay logically covers both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view before concluding with your own opinion.