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Band 4.5

some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
The earth is faced with many environmental challenges every year.
Due to
this
 dilemma, humans trying to find the best solution. Increasing the cost of fuel is thought the best way by some people. I completely do not assume
this
 action could be the best resolution to
this
 global dilemma which was mentioned before. On the
one
 hand, contaminating the environment has many reasons. Our planet has got issues
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 using fossil fuels, soil erosion, air pollution and deforestation,
furthermore
, resolving all these issues needs a powerful key. Each problem has a different answer which is not related to another
one
.
On the other hand
, if fuel costs more than before, it might help many aspects of environmental problems.
This
 resolution is a long-sighted key to transform setbacks.
For instance
, when someone wants to use his or her personal car
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 after a
while
 it seems transport by public transportation is cheaper than their own cars. If using of fuels decreases, it might affect air pollution
then
 in future phases, it will show good changes in environmental problems. In conclusion, solving environmental problems by increasing the price of fuel has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good result.
However
, the drawbacks of the earth need more than
one
 answer which are related to each other and none is superior to the other
one
.
Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on

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introduction conclusion present
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Right now, they are quite brief and do not clearly restate your main points or the overall stance effectively. Adding a brief summary and a strong concluding statement can help make your argument more compelling.
supported main points
Make sure each of your paragraphs clearly ties back to your main argument. Some parts of the essay could benefit from more detail or examples to better support the points you make.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, which makes it easy to follow your line of reasoning. The use of paragraphs to separate different ideas is effective.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach and a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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