IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #car #british #roads #year #million #vehicles #alternative #forms #transport #laws #control #ownership
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered that
Correct article usage
the internatinal
show examples
internatinal
Correct your spelling
international
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 should support other types of
transort
Correct your spelling
transport
 and insert new laws that would control
car
ownership
 and use. I
fuuly
Correct your spelling
fully
 agree with
this
 statement and think that new ways of transportation should be encouraged and
car
ownership
 must be restricted
Change preposition
to at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 certain degree.   First of all,
downfall
Add an article
the downfall
show examples
 of the
car
 industry would recover and
strenthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 ecology because of
decrease
Correct article usage
the decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 greenhouse gas
emition
Correct your spelling
emissions
emission
. Vehicles emit large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, worsening
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of air and leading to
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming day by day.
Nevertheless
, if other types of transport partly replace cars, it will have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on
this
 ecological situation.
For instance
, encouraging trains or metro that use electricity as fuel would have great
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 on our environment and citizen's health. 
Secondly
 , I think that if
car
ownership
would have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 some restrictions, especially in big cities,
then
 traffic on roads would be much
free
Correct quantifier usage
more free
show examples
. Nowadays, everyone can own
unlimited
Change the article
an unlimited
the unlimited
show examples
number
 of cars, and if it
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 restrained,
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of vehicles will suddenly decline. Because of the excessive
number
 of vehicles
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cities, roads become saturated, and it leads to long-lasting traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
.
For example
, in Almaty, since
opening
Add an article
the opening
show examples
 of the "Metropoliten" , heavy
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
show examples
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 freer during rush hours. That's why, it is crucial to regulate
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
car
Change to a plural noun
cars
show examples
 and start to rely on alternative transportation methods. 
To conclude
 , I strongly believe that alternative
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and
car
ownership
 regulations
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 beneficial for society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will lead to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 ecological situation and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 traffic jams.
Submitted by IELTS nis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Accuracy
Try to correct small inaccuracies and typos. For example, 'insert' should be 'implement', 'I fuuly agree' should be 'I fully agree', 'gas emition' should be 'gas emission', and 'Metropoliten' should be 'Metro'. These corrections can help clarify your ideas and enhance readability.
Specificity
Try to further elaborate and give more specific, detailed examples in your essay. This will help support your arguments more effectively and showcase your ability to develop ideas comprehensively.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good for the task response criterion.
Conclusion
Your essay includes a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points, contributing to both coherence and cohesion.
Organization
You have successfully organized your essay into paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This helps maintain a logical structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: