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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the number of serious crimes that occurred in London between 2003 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #crimes #london #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph reveals the
number
Use synonyms
 of armed
robbery
Change to a plural noun
robberies
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,
assault
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assaults
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 and
murder
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murders
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commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 in London from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, weaponized plumbers
occured
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occurred
 the most at the start of
period
Correct article usage
the period
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 out of 3
offenses
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offences
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, but
then
Linking Words
 its count dramatically dropped. Attacks ,
however
Linking Words
,increased over time and
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of numbers remained essentially unchanged. In 2003 ,the
number
Use synonyms
 of armed burglaries accounted for just under 3500, which
then
Linking Words
 reached the graph’s peak at approximately 3700
year
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years
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 later, steadily declining to
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 over 1000 instances in 2008 and
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 to 1500 , where it remained unchanged for the rest of the period. Turning to strikes, the total
number
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 of attacks recorded in 2003 was 2300 , which ranged under 2500 until 2010 , by 2012
similiar
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similar
 cases became more frequent and hit its highest of 2800 assaults. The
number
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
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 homicides
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the same
in
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning and end of the graph despite minor
variation
Fix the agreement mistake
variations
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. The largest amount of people (900) were killed in 2005,which
then
Linking Words
 fell to around 600 and hovered until 2012, with a minor climb of 700 in 2010.
Submitted by zhaniya.azhdarova on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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