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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
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The map illustrates the centre of a small city named Islip in its present
view
Use synonyms
 and plans for its future
view
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, they are going to extend the future development with a few features
such
Linking Words
 as a car park, bus station, and new housing.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they are going to add a dual carriageway as well.
According to
Linking Words
 the present
view
Use synonyms
, there is a country situated on the north side. In the middle of the town, there is a main
road
Use synonyms
 and it has access to a school and a park.
In addition
Linking Words
, on both sides of the
Use synonyms
road
Add a comma
road,
show examples
 they provide two shops. Based on the future
view
Use synonyms
, the main change is going to happen on the
road
Use synonyms
, they are going to design a dual carriageway surrounding the town. Next to
this
Linking Words
, the main
road
Use synonyms
 is replaced by pedestrians. On the north side, shops will be destroyed and they are going to create a shopping centre with few facilities
such
Linking Words
 as parking slots and a bus station going to be provided for people. Meanwhile, two new housing plans will be designed in
this
Linking Words
 plan.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words view, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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