IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The two bar charts below show the propotion of 14 to 16-year old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country and the top 3 foreign languages . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The two bar charts below show the propotion of 14 to 16-year old students studying a foreign language in an English speaking country and the top 3 foreign languages . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
#two #bar #show #propotion #-year #students #language #english #country #languages #summarise #information #features #comparisions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the fraction of teenage students studying
overseas
Correct article usage
an overseas
show examples
 language with
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 as
native
Correct pronoun usage
their native
show examples
 tongue and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 top 3 most
learning
Replace the word
learned
show examples
 languages in the
years
Use synonyms
 1984 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 French was
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular language to learn, but it gradually fell over the
years
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, still remaining
its
Change preposition
in its
show examples
 spot. Over the
23 year
Add a hyphen
23-year
show examples
 period, it was the girls who studied more foreign languages than the
boys
Use synonyms
. In 1984, half of the teenagers were more passionate about learning French as their second language.
However
Linking Words
, in the next decades, the percentage of French learners considerably
diminish
Correct subject-verb agreement
diminishes
show examples
 to approximately 25%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, German was
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place in the ranking, having
interest
Add an article
the interest
an interest
show examples
 of one-fifth of the students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Spanish had close to 5% of the scholars, being at the bottom of the ranking. Over the
years
Use synonyms
, German declined to slightly over 10%,
while
Linking Words
 Spanish doubled its fraction, reaching 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, girls were the top gender to study outside languages in 1984, hitting about 50%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the other 30% were
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 over the next 23
years
Use synonyms
, Girls were
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same position as
boys
Use synonyms
 in past, but
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the boys
show examples
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
 fraction slightly decreased, reaching nearly 25%.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, boys with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: