IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With an increasing population communicating via the Internet and text-messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #internet #communication
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In today's contemporary world, there is a significant inclination of individuals towards excessive usage of
Correct article usage
the
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internet and text messages for communication
instead
 of physical
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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face
 communication. These social networking
chat
platforms
 are highly addictive ,especially
our
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since our
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 younger generation is stuck with it
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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. Undoubtedly,
this
 phenomenon is on the rise adversely affecting our society's way of socializing,
this
 essay will examine the
pro's
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pros
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 and cons
along with
 presenting
opinion
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opinions
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 with
real life
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real-life
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 instances and suggest some ways
on
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apply
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how to control
this
.
However
, the situation is
aggrevated
Correct your spelling
aggravated
due to
widespread
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the widespread
show examples
 use of online
chat
 services and numerous
platforms
 to check in about their social life , these vicious things have become a common
modernr
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modern
 lifestyle practice and
is
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are
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 considered
as
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apply
show examples
a vital status symbol.
Instead
 of organising social community gatherings, people are more towards forming
chat
 groups and connecting globally from their
room
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rooms
show examples
.
In addition
 to that, social anxiety has become an issue of grave concern amongst the younger generations , they are so comfortably and conveniently using their mobiles to communicate they can no longer handle socializing in person creating a pressurized and panic situation for them.
For example
 ,
a
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apply
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recent surveys clearly depict that
plethora
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a plethora
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 of
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the popilation
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popilation
Correct your spelling
population
 is more interested in online
meet ups
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meet-ups
show examples
instead
 of
face to
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
face
 communication.
Nonetheless
, certain preventive measures are suggested to counter the escalation of the pandemic.
To begin
 with, for
teenagers
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teenagers,
show examples
 parents should enforce some ground rules
and
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apply
show examples
proactively monitor their social
platforms
Fix the agreement mistake
platform
show examples
 usage and impart knowledge and
importance
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the importance
show examples
 of physical interaction.
Moreover
 , community groups and activities should be
broadcasted
Wrong verb form
broadcast
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 more frequently to attract more participants and explain the harmful side
affects
Replace the word
effects
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 of
chat
-room addiction.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe
government
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the government
show examples
 should work alongside these companies to impose some kind of limitation on
usgae
Correct your spelling
usage
 for minors to prevent addictions and various other recurring issues. In summation,
according to
 my perspective, the phenomenon vindicated above needs to be resolved by using some preventive measures. I completely agree with the notion that, these days society prefers to
potray
Correct your spelling
portray
 themselves on
chat
 groups and
internet
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the internet
show examples
 causing next to no physical contact and reducing
value
Add an article
the value
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 of relations. We as a society need to
vanish
Verb problem
eliminate
show examples
this
preicament
Correct your spelling
predicament
 , with minute mindfulness and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 approach in using these
platforms
Submitted by pranav.dhawan28 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the writer's stance on the topic. Make it clear in the introduction whether you agree or disagree with the statement and to what extent. Revise the introduction to reflect a clear standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs follow a logical order and that there's a smooth transition between points. This can be improved by using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Some ideas are repetitive and lack depth. Delve into each point with more detail and provide more variety in arguments. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed in the essay and reinforces your perspective on the issue.
task achievement
You do provide real-life examples and some general insights to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face communication
  • digital means
  • non-verbal cues
  • body language
  • facial expressions
  • context and emotions
  • online communication
  • misunderstandings
  • immediate feedback
  • social connection
  • virtual reality
  • human element
  • confidentiality
  • augment
  • deeper personal connections
What to do next:
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