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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives information about the daily cost of water per person in five different countries. (Figures are based on the minimum daily requirement per peron of 11.5 litres.)

The table below gives information about the daily cost of water per person in five different countries. (Figures are based on the minimum daily requirement per peron of 11.5 litres.)
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The table compares the daily money spent on drinking
water
Use synonyms
 per individual in Tanzania, Uganda, Pakistan,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Tanzania has the most expensive price per
liter
Change the spelling
litre
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
fraction
Add an article
the fraction
a fraction
show examples
 of
salary
Correct article usage
the salary
show examples
 spent on
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the USA has the lowest cost and percentage of
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 spent. Among the five different countries, Tanzania is ranked first in terms of daily cost per person, reaching 6.4 cents for 11.5 litres of
water
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Tanzanian people spend
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 5.7% of their salaries on aqua on average.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
 third-world country, Uganda,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
citizens waste 4.1 cents which is
also
Linking Words
 3.2% of their monthly earnings. Pakistan has a
little bit
Rephrase
slightly
show examples
 better situation with only 0.0176 US dollars.
United
Correct article usage
The United
show examples
 Kingdom and the United States of America have a lot cheaper and achievable sources of drinkable
water
Use synonyms
, with the cost of 1.3 and 0.85 cents per individual respectively;

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • daily cost
  • per person
  • minimum daily requirement
  • litres
  • comparison
  • assessment
  • analysis
  • evaluation
  • impact
  • citizens
  • relationship
  • availability
  • resources
  • measures
  • manage
  • implications
  • health
  • hygiene
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