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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the charts below show that UK graduate and postgraduate studrents who did not go into full-time work did after leaving collage in 2008 summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show that UK graduate and postgraduate studrents who did not go into full-time work did after leaving collage in 2008 summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #studrents #work #collage #summerise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graphs give
informatoin
Correct your spelling
information
 about how trend
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 busy graduate and postgraduate
students
,
exception
Replace the word
except
show examples
full-time
Correct determiner usage
those full-time
show examples
work
, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 during 2008.
Overall
, it is evident that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the least level of
particepating
Correct your spelling
participating
participation
 to voluntary
work
,
however
, the most amount of
students
 go
ahaed
Correct your spelling
ahead
 in their study for both
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. Looking at the charts in more detail, we can see that the
number
 of
further
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 for graduate
students
 stood just low 30000 which is
this
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 level is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
about 10 times
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the quantity of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valunter
Correct your spelling
volunteer
work
. The status of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
work
 and the
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
students
 is
roughtly
Correct your spelling
roughly
 equal, just above 15000 among graduate
students
. Regarding postgraduate
students
, there are about the same
number
 in the
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
 of part-time
work
 and
further
 study just more than 2500. The level of
Correct your spelling
volunteer
volunter
Correct your spelling
volunteer
work
 is the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
, which is less
about
Change preposition
than
show examples
 5 times
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼

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