Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Some think that time spent on

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and

computer

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games

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could be beneficial for

children

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while

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others think it could be detrimental.

Although

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children

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would be able to gain more knowledge about different topics, I believe that other activities

such

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as playing outdoor

games

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would be more beneficial for the child's

overall

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health. On the one hand, they would be able to enhance their intellect about multiple topics with the help of television and

computer

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games

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In other words

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, there are multiple

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shows which can help foster

children

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's cognitive development .

For instance

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, Japanese people allow their offspring to watch television for at least one hour a day, and

as a result

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, Japan has the highest number of scientists in the world.

However

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, in my opinion, knowledge related to these topics can be gained through other sources.

On the other hand

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, playing outdoors would have a positive impact on a child's

overall

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well-being.

This

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is because if a child sits in front of the

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and

computer

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for longer hours, it might create postural and other health issues.

For example

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, it has been observed that

children

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who play

computer

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games

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and watch television for long hours have the highest risk of back-bone-related diseases at an earlier age.

Therefore

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, I opine that

children

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these activities should be avoided for a healthier life. In conclusion, some believe that time spent on

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and

computer

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-based

games

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could have a positive impact on young people,

while

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others opine that it could be detrimental. Even though the young generation could increase their knowledge about numerous areas, I opine that they could face multiple health-related issues.

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Aug 18, 2024

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task achievement

The essay effectively discusses both views of the argument and draws a clear conclusion. However, it could benefit from a more equal balance in addressing both sides of the argument. Perhaps providing additional support or counterarguments for the view that TV and computer games have positive impacts could create a more balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

While the essay follows a logical structure and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, there could be improvements in the transitions between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph cohesively supports the overall argument. Consider using more linking devices throughout the essay to improve the fluidity of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid foundation for the essay. The conclusion nicely summarizes the essay’s main points and reinforces the writer's opinion.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the mention of Japan's allowance for TV watching and its link to the number of scientists, strengthens the argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

negative impact
physical health
obesity
eye strain
repetitive strain injuries
social skills
virtual worlds
face-to-face interactions
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
educational tools
engaging
multiplayer
online gaming communities
relieve stress
entertainment
moderation

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Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

In some countries the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think maybe the reason for this? What effects might this have on society?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, govenments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.] Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications?