the pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made. summerize the infromation by selecting and reporting the mainfeatures and make comparision where relevant.
These pictures
illustrates
how Change the verb form
illustrate
tomato
ketchup
is produced, there are 15 stages in the diagram, from picking tomatoes
in
Change preposition
on
farm
Add an article
the farm
a farm
,
to delivering Remove the comma
apply
to
supermarkets by lorries.
Correct pronoun usage
them to
Initially
, tomatoes
are picked and put in basket
, Add an article
a basket
the basket
then
the tomatoes
are sorted. When the tomatoes
have been sorted, then
they send
Wrong verb form
are sent
it
to the factory. After Correct pronoun usage
apply
that
some different Add a comma
that,
part
of Fix the agreement mistake
parts
tomatoes
like stalk
, seeds and skin are removed. In order to crush them, the Correct article usage
the stalk
tomatoes
are put in a container. Once the tomatoes
have been crushed, suger
, vinegar and salt are added to the container. Correct your spelling
sugar
Following
this
, the mixture is boiled. Once the mixture has been boiled, it left
for two hours.
Add a missing verb
is left
The following step is
that,
the Remove the comma
apply
tomato
ketchup
is poured onto the bottle and then
labels are put on the bottles. In order to have an acceptable quality the bottle’s quality is controled
by a person. After the bottles of Correct your spelling
controlled
tomato
ketchup
have been packed into the boxes, the boxes are loaded onto the lorries, which take the boxes to the supermarkets. Finally
you can buy one from supermarkets and enjoy having a meal with Add a comma
Finally,
tomato
ketchup
.Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
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grammar
Overall, your essay provides a clear outline of the process of making tomato ketchup with an apt introduction and conclusion. However, there are some areas for improvement. There are minor grammatical errors (e.g., ‘illustrates’ should be ‘illustrate’, ‘suger’ should be ‘sugar’). You can achieve higher accuracy by proof-reading your essay.
coherence
You have a fairly good logical structure, but connections between sentences and stages can be more fluid. Adding transition words and phrases would improve coherence and cohesion. For instance, ‘After the first step, the next stage involves...’, ‘Following the previous stage, the tomatoes are...’, etc. This would help your essay flow more smoothly.
clarity
Some of the stages can be explained with a bit more detail for greater clarity. For instance, explaining how the tomatoes are crushed in a container or the process of boiling could provide a clearer picture. Adding a few more specifics can help enhance the task achievement score.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed all the main stages of ketchup production, from picking tomatoes to delivering them to supermarkets.
introduction conclusion
You provided a clear and concise introduction and conclusion summarizing the process and its outcome.
comprehension
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the process, capturing the main features and sequences.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite