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Writing Samples
Band 5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#group #students #classroom #home #minutes
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There is no doubt, that people have to obtain knowledge,
develope themselve
Correct your spelling
develop themselves
, and foster their skills.
However
, the methods could be different; I totally agree with individuals, who suggest
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
students
studing
Correct your spelling
study
 offline with other classmates in educational institutions rather than learning online at
home
.
To begin
 with, the process of learning in class with other
students
 is more effective than
home
 online education.
This
 is because the right
autmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 and no disturbing factors,
such
 as
kitchen
Correct article usage
the kitchen
show examples
 or gadgets,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
presented
Replace the word
present
show examples
 at schools. All of that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
tremendouse
Correct your spelling
tremendous
 effect on digesting new materials, which individuals have to consume. Alternatively,
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the
pandemic
Add a comma
pandemic,
show examples
 people studied at
home
, which, unfortunately, caused
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
students
Change the noun form
student
show examples
 results. It is hard to deny, that when an average teenager tries to have classes at
home
, he has to struggle with the desire
of checking
Change preposition
to check
show examples
 social media or
messegers
Correct your spelling
messages
.
In addition
, a competition, which exists in all classes, stimulates
students
work
Add the particle
to work
show examples
 harder. It explains the fact, that people want to realize
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 and to occupy a better place in social
hierarhy
Correct your spelling
hierarchy
.
In other words
, the performance
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a class usually determines
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 status of an individual.
For instance
, in the highly effective school, where I studied, the administration created
ranking
Add an article
a ranking
show examples
 of
students
 and everybody
endeovored
Correct your spelling
ended
to be
Change preposition
up being
show examples
an
Change the article
apply
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excellent.
Conversaly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, online education does not give any chance to compete,
as a result
, children do not
sturve
Correct your spelling
starve
strive
 to get higher grades. In conclusion, I would stick to my opinion that studying with a group of
students
 in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at
home
 because It
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 correct
conditionals
Replace the word
conditions
show examples
 for
achiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
archiving
 knowledge.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition among
classmaits
Correct your spelling
classmates
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
positevely
Correct your spelling
positively
 influences on
performance
Add an article
the performance
show examples
 of
students
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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task achievement
Your task response is good. You have addressed the topic and provided reasons for your opinion. However, the essay would benefit from more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your points. Try to use examples that are more concrete and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While the structure of your essay is clear, there are occasional disruptions in the flow of ideas due to some grammatical and lexical inaccuracies. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and subject-verb agreement. Also, make sure words are correctly spelled and used in the right context. Proofreading can help catch these errors.
introduction conclusion present
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
logical structure
Your ideas are generally clear and linked logically from one point to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical interaction
  • Fosters
  • Communication skills
  • Structured environment
  • Discipline
  • Time management
  • Immediate feedback
  • Clarification
  • Motivate
  • Competitive environment
  • Achievement
  • Accommodate
  • Group discussions
  • Experiments
  • Presentations
  • Flexibility
  • Convenience
  • Commitments
  • Remote areas
  • Digital platforms
  • Interactive simulations
  • Social anxiety
  • Participate
  • Engage
  • Diverse learning paces
  • Learning styles
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