IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The following figure provides key information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people who are living in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 during two specific years.The units are measured in
percentage
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that,the population of both countries witnessed higher growth in 2002.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
 population surprisingly stayed the same in the two years
as well as
Linking Words
 the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in the two nations.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,whilst every age group showed a steady level of growth,there were some primary differences in the actual
percentage
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 of the annual growth . On the one hand
Add a comma
,
show examples
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 surpassed
Australia
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 with 2.4% and 2.1% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 , show a reasonable rise with 1.2 and 1.3 %. In terms of birth rate, Neither
Australia
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 nor
Malaysia
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 recorded any remarkable improvement. It declined from 1.5 %in 1980 to 1.3 %in 2002 in
Australia
Use synonyms
. The same happened with
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 as the rate diminished from 2.4 %to 2.1 %.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, australia, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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