The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The given 2 graphs

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

information about the outcome of

Correct article usage

the questionnarie

show examples

questionnarie

Correct your spelling

questionnaire

questionnaires

, which is as to kids' spare time activities.

While

Linking Words

the first one

Add a missing verb

is related

show examples

to male kids, the second graph tells the activities

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

attended by female children.

Overall

Linking Words

whereas

Linking Words

computer games are the most desirable

activity

Use synonyms

by boys, girls mostly choose to dance.

According to

Linking Words

just over 1 in 3

Change preposition

apply

show examples

boys, which is the

largerst

Correct your spelling

largest

proportion, playing video games is the best leisure

activity

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

ratio is followed by basketball lovers by slightly more than a quarter. With the exception of computer games and basketball, there is no

activity

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

chosen by more than 20% of male activists. When it comes to the least chosen

activity

Use synonyms

, it is reading by

insignificant

Correct article usage

an insignificant

show examples

percentage. Among the girl survey attendees dancing is the most popular leisure hobby by just above 25%. Reading is

Change preposition

show examples

2nd place by more than 1 in 5

Change preposition

apply

show examples

girls

unlike

Add the comma(s)

, unlike

show examples

boys.

Finally

Linking Words

gymnastic

Fix the agreement mistake

gymnastics

show examples

is the least chosen

activity

Use synonyms

by around 10%.

TUTOOSun Aug 18 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words activity with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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