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Band 3.5

Look at the graph showing worldwide rice consumption. Write sentences about the four projection.

#rice #consumption #sentences #four #projection
The line graph illustrates
expectations
Correct article usage
the expectations
show examples
 of rice consumption
of
Change preposition
in
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 the world
since
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from
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 1990 to 2040.
Overall
, the only
projection
 that decreases is the
forth
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fourth
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projection
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 other three projects seem to grow rapidly starting
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010 to 2040, with the first
projection
 on top. In the interval 1990 to 2010, it was noticed that
project
Capitalize word
Project
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 4 is
icreasing
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increasing
 with an amount just more than 300 metric
tonnes
 of rice,
then
 in 2000 it reached about 360 metric
tonnes
, but in 2010 it reached
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 highest level which is approximately 420 metric
tonnes
.
At
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In
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 that year it
seemes
Correct your spelling
seems
seemed
 that three other projects
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to grow. In the interval 2010 to 2040, the first
projection
 tends to be taking
a
Correct article usage
the
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 lead as it
reches
Correct your spelling
reaches
 just under 500 metric
tonnes
 in 2020, and it increases again to be approximately 520. The highest it gets is in 2040 for almost 530 metric
tonnes
.
In addition
, the second and third projections seem to be in competition as they
has
Change the verb form
have
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a similar estimates
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar estimate
similar estimates
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. We can say that they started to have
differenet
Correct your spelling
different
 expectations in between of 2030 and 2040. Still,
proection
Correct your spelling
protection
 2 manages to reach exactly 500 metric
tonnes
 in 2040,
whereas
 the
thid
Correct your spelling
third
projection
 is expected to be approximately 470 metric
tonnes
.
Submitted by 9500kawther1700 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that sentences are more smoothly connected. Using more transition words can help with this, making your writing flow better.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensuring that all trends and notable details in the graph are mentioned would make the response more comprehensive.
task achievement
There appear to be some minor grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'icreasing,' 'seemes,' and 'proection.' Proofreading to catch these errors would make the essay more polished.
task achievement
The essay provides a good summary of the trends and gives specific figures, which enhances the clarity of the response.
task achievement
The writer has effectively identified the important trends and differences among the projections, which shows a good understanding of the data.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and some form of conclusion, which makes it easy to follow the writer's ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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