IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps illustrate
siginificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 changes in the layout and facilities of the harbour between the year 2000 and today. It is noticeable that there were slight changes in the harbour.
Furthermore
, the number of facilities and roads has risen in these years. Looking at the information in more detail, the location of the marina and the fishing boats were switched, where the former was in the north but now in the south.
Moreover
, the amount of docks had increased for more passenger ferries to park in. When it comes to the land surrounding the ocean, showers and toilets were added beside the car park in the south and the road to the park was relocated from the south side to the west. Cafes and shops were built at the corner where private yachts were placed just beside the lifeboat. The major difference is the isolated disused castle was changed into a hotel, and the road linking to it is separated from the road to the lifeboat
also
 the beach used to be public is private for the hotel today.
Submitted by 10youting01 on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the changes in the facilities and layout to make your response more comprehensive. Providing more specific details can help improve the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer organization and transitions between points. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the harbour's changes, and use cohesive devices to make the text flow more smoothly.
task achievement
The essay provides a good comparison of the harbour in 2000 to its current state, covering multiple aspects such as facilities, roads, and specific areas.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and concise, making it easy to understand the main points and differences between the two maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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