In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In
Add an article
the modern
show examples
modern day
Add a hyphen
modern-day
show examples
, big
companies
in their
adverstment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
underline that their
products
are
inovative
Correct your spelling
innovative
in many ways. I think the highest goal for the project which
recommending
Wrong verb form
recommends
show examples
their goods
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
the world is
sell
Fix the infinitive
to sell
show examples
as much as possible quantity of product.
Firstly
, every company are trying to increase sales of their goods
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
adverstments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
,
however
, all
well developed
Add a hyphen
well-developed
show examples
companies
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
already conquered
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and billboards with their
adverstments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
.
Companies
like
cola
Capitalize word
Cola
show examples
,
pepsi
Change the capitalization
Pepsi
show examples
,fairy,kinder,
leomax
Correct your spelling
Lomax
, and other popular
companies
most
Add a missing verb
are most
show examples
often shown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
and
Change preposition
on billboard
show examples
billboard
Fix the agreement mistake
billboards
show examples
,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
wealthy
companies
can buy other little
projects
in order to remove competitors in their sphere.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
leomax
Correct your spelling
Lomax
buys rights to
products
which have good potential of sales,
thereafter
they
sales
Replace the word
sell
show examples
the
products
and make
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
from it.
Secondly
,New
projects
cannot even show
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
commodity in
Correct article usage
the buisness
show examples
buisness
Correct your spelling
business
sphere, so after some time
projects
like
this
die without any attention.New
projects
without
start-up
Fix the agreement mistake
start-ups
show examples
have to become popular without big spending on ads, in
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
they can become popular by posting their
inovative
Correct your spelling
innovative
goods to popular
apps
such
as
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
,
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
,telegram and so on.
Projects
with special features are popular on
simmilar
Correct your spelling
similar
apps
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because these
apps
can promote their ideas to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
as soon as possible.
Brightest
Add an article
The brightest
show examples
example of
popularity
Add an article
the popularity
show examples
of
unknown
Add an article
an unknown
show examples
project is ''temu''.Temu was
unknown
Correct article usage
an unknown
show examples
project until they started doing viral videos with their
products
and gathering followers below their accounts in
apps
.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
temu
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
100000 followers on
Correct pronoun usage
its tiktok
show examples
tiktok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
account. In conclusion,
adverstment
Correct your spelling
advertisements
from
a viral firms
Correct the article-noun agreement
viral firms
a viral firm
show examples
usually
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
the features of the
products
in many ways.I think
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
purpose of the
adverstment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
is
selling
Change the verb form
to sell
show examples
a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of
products
.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a general answer to the prompt, but lacks depth in analysis and arguments. Try to delve deeper into the reasons why companies emphasize new features and whether it is positive or negative even more.
coherence cohesion
There are some good points made, but the essay's progression needs to be smoother. Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This can make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and eliminate grammatical errors; this can greatly improve the clarity and cohesiveness of your writing.
task achievement
The essay touches upon key points such as the role of advertisement and the challenges faced by new businesses.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay well and restates the main points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: