Some people believe that if police force carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, there are many violent cases which
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
many concerns. Some
people
argue that if
guns
are carried by the
police
force, it will encourage an increased level of
violence
. From my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
I disagree with
this
statement.
To begin
with, policemen
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ought to carry
guns
in order to protect the community, diminishing the idea that it will lead to
violence
.
For example
, if a victim is in a dangerous situation,
such
as being threatened by the crime. The
police
are able to utilise the
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
when necessary, saving them from danger.
This
not only saves the person in danger
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
shows how a
police
can protect citizens through using a gun correctly. In 2020,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research has
also
been done which shows that
people
who commit crimes are mostly
due to
their own impulsiveness thoughts rather than being influenced by the
guns
of
police
forces.
Hence
, it is impossible that
this
will enhance violent acts.
Furthermore
,
people
should know that the utilisation of
guns
by policemen
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
for shooting crimes
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
go against the rules in a highly emergent situation.
For instance
, when someone is trying to kill another person.
Guns
would be required to secure
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
innocent person’s life. The usage of
guns
by the
police
should be
educated
Verb problem
taught
show examples
to everyone in the world.
As a result
, it is unlikely that
people
would be motivated to commit
violence
as
it is clear that
the
police
force acts as role models to the community. In conclusion, the reason why
police
forces carry
guns
around is
due to
their responsibility to ensure a safe place for
people
to live. They use
guns
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
correct and reasonable
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
.
As a result
, I personally think that the number of
violence
will not increase because of the
guns
held by policemen.
Submitted by cherrychan926 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Discussions can be further enriched by referencing real-world examples or statistics that directly illustrate points made.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on the ideas presented. Some points could be elaborated in greater detail to provide a more comprehensive argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Some transitions between paragraphs or ideas could be improved for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a well-defined structure for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is mostly maintained, making the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task requirements, providing a direct response to the prompt.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Arms race
  • Public perception
  • Militarization
  • Law enforcement
  • Escalation of conflict
  • Lethal force
  • Use-of-force policies
  • Crime deterrence
  • Civil liberty
  • Community policing
  • De-escalation techniques
  • Accountability
  • Apprehension
  • Non-lethal alternatives
  • Social fabric
  • Judicial oversight
What to do next:
Look at other essays: