Look at the graph showing worldwide rice consumption.

The line graph illustrates the expectations for rice consumption in the world from 1990 until 2040.
Overall
, the only
projection
that decreases gradually is the fourth one. Meanwhile, the other three projects seem to grow rapidly starting from 2010 to 2040, with the
first
projection
on top. During the
first
two centuries, it noticed that Project 4 was increasing with more than 300 metric
tonnes
of rice; after that, in 2000, it reached about 360, but in 2010, it reached its highest amount, which is approximately 420 metric
tonnes
. In that year, it seems that three other trends started to grow and have a possible increase. In the interval from 2010 to 2040, the
first
projection
tends to be taking the lead as it reached just under 500 metric
tonnes
in 2020, and it is expected that it will increase again to approximately 520 metric
tonnes
. The highest the
first
project gets will be in 2040 for almost 530 metric
tonnes
.
In addition
, the second and third trends seem to be in competition as they have a similar estimate. We can say that they started to have different expectations of rice amounts between 2030 and 2040. Still,
projection
2 manages to reach exactly 500 metric
tonnes
in 2040,
whereas
the third
projection
is expected to be approximately 470 metric
tonnes
.
Submitted by 9500kawther1700 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to better frame the discussion.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify the relative ranking of the projections consistently throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific data points and describe trends more precisely.
task achievement
The overall trends and key points in the data are identified and discussed.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, and the main points are generally well presented.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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