University education system is one of the most widely discussed topics these days. Many people believe that college students should be allowed to choose subjects they like to study. Others think that it is always better to learn subjects that have relevance in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion
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The tertiary
education has always been a debated topic. On Correct article usage
Tertiary
one
hand, some individuals believe that is
more advantadgeous
for students to select their own subjects, meanwhile, others believe Correct your spelling
advantageous
that is
better to have some basics
topics that have importance in their curriculum mesh. Change the noun form
basic
This
essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.
On one
hand, choosing the themes to study is engaging and could have benefits. Furthermore
, if one
student could pick his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
topics
to study, probably he would choose themes that are Fix the agreement mistake
topic
passionated
or Correct your spelling
passionate
atractive
to be explored. Correct your spelling
attractive
Second,
but not less important
, Change the word
importantly
this
could allow the undergraduate to adquire
specialized knowledge sooner than if he just Correct your spelling
acquire
complete
the general requirements of some university career.
Wrong verb form
completed
On the other hand
, the university needs to secure basic and useful knowledge to allow the pupils to find a job. In other words
, the institutions are in charge of give
them Change the verb form
giving
tool
to enter Fix the agreement mistake
tools
in
real Change preposition
apply
world
work-life. Correct your spelling
real-world
For example
, it is well known the necesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
of
develop soft skills to be successful. Change preposition
to
Also
, there are basic topics that every professional needs to learn, for
instance
to write a good curriculum or how to work in teams. These skills are essential for every single Add the comma(s)
instance,
students
, and in my personal opinion are more relevant Change to a singular noun
student
that
specific and specialized Correct word choice
than
branch
of Fix the agreement mistake
branches
studies
. Fix the agreement mistake
study
Moreover
, the specific knowledge could be adquired
after the degree, or when the individuals are working.
In conclusion, it seems to be more important for Correct your spelling
acquired
the
superior education to ensure general and useful subjects more than specific ones.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by caritolobos on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Work on reducing grammatical errors and enhancing vocabulary to ensure more precise and varied expression. For example, "adquire" should be "acquire," and "necessity" should be spelled correctly.
Supporting Evidence
Provide more detailed examples to back up your points. For instance, when discussing the importance of soft skills, an example of a specific soft skill and its application would add depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. While the essay is generally coherent, it would benefit from smoother transitions between points. For instance, using phrases like "in addition" or "moreover" can help connect ideas more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both views and includes a clear opinion in the conclusion. This shows a clear understanding of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The general structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is well maintained, which aids in readability.
Task Achievement
Your points about benefits of choosing subjects and the importance of basic skills are relevant and insightful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.