Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

In today's world, there is a heavy debate about all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings are born
equally
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equal
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and
hence
every male and female are capable of doing
same
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the same
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work
,
while
others disagree with
this
statement saying there are some
area
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areas
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which
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in which
show examples
female genders cannot
work
.
This
is because of the strength difference in the body and nature of
job
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the job
show examples
they
work-in
Correct your spelling
work in
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. On the one hand, I believe that through hard
work
and dedication every human whoever it is, can achieve anything in
this
world. There are many places where people of all genders
work
together because of the skills they
posses
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possess
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which
does
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do
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not need much physical power.
For example
, working in an IT department depends purely on the talent of the employee and anybody in
this
world can gain
this
without necessarily
posing
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losing
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muscle power.
However
, every employment on the Earth is not like that. On the flip side, there are certain places where females cannot operate because of their physical nature. Oil rigs,
for instance
,
is
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are
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a place that requires working on heavy
machineries
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machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
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which takes a lot of boot strength to handle them. So, men
posing
Verb problem
possessing
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stronger
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a stronger
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personalty
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personality
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are
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
for
this
type of
work
, which cannot be found in the opposite gender. By nature, women are weaker in
this
area and
hence
cannot compete with men. In conclusion, even though all humans are created
equally
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equal
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but
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apply
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there is a lack
in
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of
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strength
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the strength
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of
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in
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females which
restrict
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restricts
show examples
them
to operate
Change preposition
from operating
show examples
in some fields. Specially, where muscle power is required on the talent.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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Grammar
There are several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures in your essay, which can affect clarity. Consider revising sentences for better flow and readability.
Examples
The essay needs more relevant and detailed examples to strengthen your argument. For example, specific instances where women have succeeded in traditionally male-dominated fields could make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure your essay fully addresses the task by discussing both viewpoints more thoroughly and balancing the perspectives. Your response leans more towards one side without fully exploring the counterargument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay could be improved by using clear topic sentences and ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This will make your arguments easier to follow.
Task Achievement
You have made a commendable effort to address the task by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the essay requirements.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and adequately frame your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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