Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think that actions can be taken to bring the change. Discuss both views and give your onion.
Human actions, around the world, have had pessimistic consequences on other life forms
such
as animals and plants. People
are divided into two groups where one of them thinks that these effects are irreversable
, Correct your spelling
irreversible
reversible
while
another group think that people
can rescue nature
. This
essay will discuss both points of view including pessimistic people
's position and optimistic people
's position, including me.
On the one hand, the global population is always increasing and requires a bunch of natural resources
including energy
, food , and space which are produced using nature
. People
need food, energy
, resources
and space to live and feeding them with their needs may lead to deforestation, pollution and other harmful activities that are hard to stop entirely. For instance
, every day around 500 thousand people
are born and 200 thousand die that is
why the population always grows and if we consider that it is 5 people
in one square meter so
it turns out that every day 60000 kilometres of Correct word choice
apply
nature
are occupied by people
and people
also
need energy
, agricultural goods which harms the ecosystem and the nature
itself. Thus
, until people
can invent new ways to save natural resources
, nature
will be endangered.
On the other hand
, people
who believe in an optimistic scenario argue that new advancements in technology could help to prevent nature
. Using new inventions in technology people
can reduce using natural resources
in energy
by changing them with renewable energy
sources such
as wind, solar, and water energy
. Moreover
, people
can upgrade waste
management technologies which enables people
to free lots of territory from waste
, recycling them. As a result
, people
would save natural resources
by using renewable energy
and would free up abunch
of space by recycling and Correct your spelling
a bunch
waste
management.
In conclusion, human actions lead to harmful consequences for nature
and while
some people
think that this
process is irreversible because the global population always rising and people
need to use nature
to live, others hope that people
can change this
situation. In my view, people
can mitigate the harm that nature
receives from people
by developing technology and inventing new ways to use renewable energy
sources,
and Remove the comma
apply
waste
management. Combining these methods and people
's awareness of this
problem, nature
can be preservedSubmitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on
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task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task and presents clear ideas on both sides of the argument. However, make sure to avoid small grammatical errors and improve the clarity of some complex sentences.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are linked together in a logical manner. While your essay flows well, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Use cohesive devices to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, consider rephrasing the thesis statement for better clarity. This sets a strong foundation for your argument and helps guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Your essay tackles both views appropriately and includes a comprehensive conclusion that reflects your opinion.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and a clear structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph has a distinct purpose and contributes to your overall argument.
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