IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The demand for online coaching services and video courses has grown significantly in the digital age. Some now feel this method of learning is a superior option to in-person learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#demand #services #video #courses #age #method #option
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The importance of remote learning which was always debatable Has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
 others reject
this
 notion. The significant influence of
this
 trend has sparked
the
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controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the latter proposition appears to be more rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my views for favouring the positive impact and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and
the
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foremost reason behind
this
 is that in face study provides more
chance
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chances
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 to collaborate with peer
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. To elaborate, children can work together during their project works and assignments which helps their social skills.
For instance
,
while
 working on group assignments students adjust
each
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to each
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 other and consider others, communicate to achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
. These are the skills they must learn to live in a society. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 stems from the fact
is
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apply
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that children focus on studies. Moving
further
, it is relevant to mention that
while
 Physical
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
, the chance of distraction is less compared to digital learning. To elaborate, in the classroom ,
whole
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the whole
show examples
 team is working together to understand the concepts.
Moreover
,
teacher
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teachers
show examples
 can identify the weakness of children and where they are distracted. Apart from the reason mentioned above, it can be clearly stated
that
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why many are against
this
 trend. Conclusion In conclusion to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
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an
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the
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 impression that the drawbacks of remote learning are indeed dire to ignore.
Submitted by soumyasuresh09 on

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task achievement
The essay lacks clear and concise argumentation. Make sure your arguments directly address the prompt and clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
There are inconsistencies in the essay's structure, particularly in the paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-organized.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction introduces the topic and acknowledges the controversy, providing a good starting point for the argument.
supported main points
The essay recognizes the social benefits of in-person learning, such as collaboration and social interactions during group assignments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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