IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. the two maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided maps illustrate the alternation in the accessibility of a city hospital in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 from 2007 to 2010.
Overally
Correct your spelling
Overall
, there were significant changes in the access
road
 to the city hospital in 2010.
Firstly
, two roundabouts were constructed at the beginning and the end of the Hospital
Road
 in order to ease the accessibility to the clinic and its facilities.
Secondly
, in 2007, there was a car park for both staff and visitors, but
then
, it was decided to build two
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
separate
 car parks specialized for personnel and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. The public car park was situated on the east of the Ring
Road
,
whereas
 the parking lot for personnel was located next to the Hospital
Road
.
In addition
 to
this
,
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 system
altered
Add a missing verb
was altered
show examples
 in 2010.
For example
, in 2009,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hospital
Road
 was
facilitized
Correct your spelling
facilitated
 by six bus stops. After
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consideration, they were transferred to the west of the Hospital
road
 and a bus station was constructed in 2010.
Submitted by bb_emperator on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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