The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in

Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.
The
chart
illustrates the
number
of people in higher levels of
education
categorized by gender in three time periods.
In addition
to that, the
chart
also
shows how many of these students are studying
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
and how many opted for part-time
education
. A close look at the
chart
reveal
Change the verb form
reveals
show examples
that among both men and
women
Add a comma
women,
show examples
part-time
education
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
seen a growth in popularity. Only about a hundred thousand men were fully devoted to their studies in the 1970 semester. In 1990,
however
, we can see that more the double
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that amount were studying full time.
Similarly
, we can notice
this
trend between
women
as well.
On the other hand
, the
number
of men engaged in studying part-time peaked in 1970 with close to a million people.
This
number
had decreased by about a tenth
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which is in stark contrast
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
number
of
women
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
participating in half-time
further
education
. From the
chart
, it can be inferred that the opposite pattern is true for
women
and a notable increase is shown
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
a mere seven thousand people in 1970 to more than a million in just twenty years. Because of that, we can predict that
this
number
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
only grown.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, number, education, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time education
  • part-time education
  • further education
  • gender comparison
  • trend analysis
  • notable increase
  • decrease
  • consistent trend
  • educational patterns
  • substantial differences
  • preferences
  • evolve
  • societal factors
  • economic influences
  • accessibility
  • job market
  • gender roles
  • projections
  • implications
  • educational policy
  • workforce development
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!