Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
Many working
people
do not spend enough time
to
Change the verb form
exercising
exercise
, which lead
to multiple health Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
problems
. How to tackle these problems
and make these people
to
Change the verb form
apply
exercise
? These problems
appear because they don’t have enough time
to do sports, or too
tired to Add a missing verb
are too
exercise
after busy
working the whole day. Add a missing verb
being busy
Hence
, they can solve the problem by allocating a
Correct article usage
apply
time
to exercise
and joining the sports community which they loved
.
Busy working Wrong verb form
love
schedule
have made working men and women don’t have enough Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
time
to exercise
. After working the whole day, their energy got
drained, Wrong verb form
gets
therefore
they’re too tired to go to the gym
. In addition
, it will be painful for driving
to the Change preposition
to drive
gym
, if its location far
away from the Add a missing verb
is far
office
. Moreover
, driving back and forth from the gym
to their home after exercise
, required big efforts. For example
, people
aged 25-35 have heart problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
due to
lack of exercise
.
The solution for these problems
is by required
these folks to be Change preposition
to require
discipline
. Wrong verb form
disciplined
Firstly
, they need to allocate some time
every few days within a week for exercise
. Working people
can join a sport
club which Change the noun form
sports
offered
by their Add a missing verb
is offered
office
also
. Hence
, they still can exercise
without leaving the office
. Secondly
, they can join a gym
membership which near
their Add a missing verb
is near
office
, so that they don’t have to drive. Hopefully, they will feel motivated to exercise
. To illustrate, they can run for 15 minutes during the lunch break and then
continue for another 15 minutes at 4pm.
In conclusion, working people
having
difficulties Wrong verb form
have
to
Change the verb form
exercising
exercise
because their
busy working Change preposition
of their
schedule
. Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
However
, they can join the gym
or a sport
club that Change the noun form
sports
near
their Add a missing verb
is near
office
. Therefore
, they can exercise
whenever they have time
. It requires an effort for someone to exercise
, but unless we push ourselves to exercise
, nobody will motivate us.Submitted by permata_188 on
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task achievement
Your task response is quite good as you address both parts of the question adequately. However, try to elaborate more on your points and provide additional supporting arguments or examples to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but it can be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that your arguments flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices, which sometimes makes it sound repetitive. Try using different linking words and phrases to illustrate the relationships between your ideas more clearly.
introduction conclusion present
I appreciate that you have a well-defined introduction and conclusion. This helps to frame your arguments effectively and provides a sense of closure.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete and addresses both the reasons why working people do not get enough exercise and potential solutions to the problem.
task achievement
Your essay has some relevant examples that help to illustrate your points. Examples are an important aspect of supporting your arguments effectively.