IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Inorder to solve traffic problem, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use their money to improve public transportation. what are the advantages and disadvantages of such solutions

#inorder #traffic #governments #tax #car #owners #money #transportation
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Daily routines have been significantly affected by
traffic
 problems. The rise in population has led to an
increase
 in private
transportation
. The government's decision to
increase
 taxes on
car
owners
 aims to fund improvements in public
transportation
 but places a heavy burden on
car
owners
 The huge population requires an
increase
 in public
transportation
.
This
 leads to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
traffic
, and employees
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
traffic
 issues when they are late for work . Road accidents will be reduced when there is an enormous amount of public
transportation
. Not only employees but everyone who is facing
traffic
 problems will get it solved.
On the other hand
,
car
owners
 are increasing day by day, and
due to
this
,
traffic
 problems have increased. Collecting tax on
car
owners
 is not the exact solution because it develops a financial burden on
owners
, which will not be manageable by all economic standards of people. A tax can be implemented on
car
owners
, but not for a long time, only for a short period, which will not affect the
car
owners
 financially, and the collected money should be used to
increase
 public
transportation
, which is the optimal solution for the
traffic
 problem
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a general discussion of the issue and offers some advantages and disadvantages of the proposed solution. However, it's essential to expand your points with more detailed explanations and examples to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Try to refine your ideas to be clearer and more comprehensive by elaborating on each point you mention.
coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clear and concise introduction and a well-thought-out conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the proposed solution, which indicates a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay attempts to follow a logical structure that addresses the problem and offers a potential solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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