IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are organising a trip to Paris, France for a group of students from England. Write to the manager of the Youth Hostel Association in Paris. In your letter, explain when you want to visit Paris how long you will stay how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require

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Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter with the purpose of clarifying the conditions and requirements of the Youth Hostel Association for foreign students. I'm the mentor of
the
Correct article usage
a
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 group of Art Faculty students from London. There are 15 participants in
this
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 group, most of whom are 20 years old. We hope to be in Paris
this
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 summer, from the 15th to the 25th of July, for 10 days/9 nights. We have a very long list of places we want to see.
Moreover
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, there are some places outside of the city, so I think we will need the minibus. So I wanted to ask you about the prices for the rent, what kind of rooms you have in your hostels, and if it was possible to have some discount for museum cards.
Furthermore
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, maybe you can recommend to me the best car renting company in Paris. Looking forward to hearing from you. Sincerely yours, Anastassia.

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task achievement
Make sure to include all relevant information in the letter to provide a complete response. For instance, specifying the exact type of rooms you need can be more helpful for the hostel manager.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, try to group similar information together and ensure smooth transitions between points. Mentioning accommodation details and transportation in separate sections could be clearer.
coherence cohesion
The letter opens and closes politely with suitable salutations and sign-offs, maintaining a formal tone which is appropriate for this context.
task achievement
The necessary details such as dates of visit, duration of stay, number of students, and accommodation needs are mentioned, fulfilling the main task requirements.
task achievement
The writing tone is formal and polite, which suits the purpose of the letter and helps in making a good impression on the reader.
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