Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be addressed?
Nowdays
, scientists Correct the word
Nowadays
revealing
that the world's population is not physically active enough. I suppose, it Wrong verb form
reveal
Add a missing verb
is entierly
entierly
true. In Correct your spelling
entirely
this
essay
I'll try to understand why it's happened.
First and foremost, we are working a Add a comma
essay,
lot
of hours, much more than earlier. Moreover
, the trend today is to work
far from the
home, or remote Correct article usage
apply
work
. So, the first point means a few hours daily in the
public transport or in the car. Correct article usage
apply
At the end
of the day
you are so Add a comma
day,
tierd
, that you can't really think about a gym or Correct your spelling
tired
jokking
. The second point, in most cases, means unlimited Correct your spelling
joking
looking
cooking
work
hours, that
means that your boss may call you when he wants. Correct pronoun usage
which
As well as
, it not
so Add a missing verb
is not
convinient
to make Correct your spelling
convenient
work
conversation in a gym.
Secondly
, in the past there were a lot
of people, who were engaged in physical work
, sometimes outside. They were much heathier
without any special Correct your spelling
healthier
trainings
. Today, most of these kinds of Fix the agreement mistake
training
work
are doing
by machines. we are talking about asphalt laying, some Wrong verb form
done
mines
works, and loading.
Fix the agreement mistake
mine
Thirdly
, however
, there are a lot
of young people, aware of the need of a changings
in their lifestyle, Correct your spelling
changing
still
we are seeing Add a comma
still,
for
Change preposition
apply
a
millions of people around the world, that Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
they
are convinced, that a lack of sport and a Correct pronoun usage
apply
lot
of fastfood
is the best lifestyle.
I Correct your spelling
fast food
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
,
we need to Remove the comma
apply
statt
Correct your spelling
start
the
worldwide social program to increase Correct article usage
a
the
awareness about the consequences of the lack of physical activity, Correct article usage
apply
necessity
of the healthy eating. The world governments need to contribute more Correct word choice
and necessity
their
attention and budget to Change preposition
of their
this
question.
In conclusion, I have to say that I'm convinced, that if we will
understand better what are the cons and the pros of Verb problem
apply
the
physical activity' we will do it much better.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by anastasia on
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language
Work on improving sentence structures and grammar to ensure a more polished and sophisticated language use. Make sure to proofread your essay for small typos and grammatical errors.
clarity
Elaborate on points with more comprehensive ideas and examples to enhance the understanding and impact of your argument.
structure
It would be beneficial to clearly separate each point into its own paragraph to improve the overall structure and readability of the essay. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
content
Your essay presents relevant points addressing the issue of lack of physical activity and provides some insights into the possible reasons behind it. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
conclusion
You have concluded the essay with a clear summarization of your viewpoint, which ties back to the points you raised earlier. This helps in giving a rounded finish to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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