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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The young can get easily influenced by the internet. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to exercise more control over their use of the internet. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Social
media
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 has revolutionized the way we connect and interact with each other. It has
also
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 given rise to a new phenomenon: social
media
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influencers
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.
Influencers
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 are individuals who have amassed a large following on social
media
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 platforms
such
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 as Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube
,
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 and are able to influence their followers’ opinions and
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
While
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influencers
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 can have a positive impact, there is growing concern about their effect on young minds.
Influencers
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 are often perceived as role models and trendsetters, particularly among young
people
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. They are often seen as the embodiment of success, popularity, and beauty.
This
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 has led to a rise in the trend of “aspirational”
content
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, where
influencers
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 showcase their luxurious lifestyles and promote products that promise to make their followers more like them.
However
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, the
content
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 that
influencers
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 promote is not always positive or healthy. Many
influencers
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 promote unrealistic body standards, which can contribute to body dissatisfaction and eating disorders among their followers. They
also
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 promote materialism and consumerism, encouraging their followers to buy products that they don’t necessarily need or can’t afford.
In addition
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 to promoting unhealthy behaviours,
influencers
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 can
also
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 have a negative impact on young
people
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’s mental health. Social
media
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 platforms are designed to be addictive, and many young
people
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 spend hours scrolling through their feeds, comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate.
Influencers
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’ curated and edited
content
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 can create a distorted view of reality, leading young
people
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 to feel that they are not measuring up to their peers or to the idealized version of themselves that they see online. It is important to recognize that
influencers
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 are not inherently bad or harmful. Many use their platforms to promote positive messages,
such
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 as body positivity, mental health awareness, and social justice.
However
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, it is important to be critical of the
content
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 that we consume and to question the motives behind it. We should be mindful of the fact that
influencers
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 are often paid to promote products
,
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 and that their
content
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 may not be entirely genuine. Parents and educators
also
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 have a role to play in helping young
people
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 navigate the world of social
media
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. By teaching them
media
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 literacy skills, we can help young
people
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 to critically evaluate the
content
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 that they consume and to make informed decisions about what they choose to engage with. In conclusion, social
media
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influencers
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 can have a powerful impact on young minds, both positive and negative.
While
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 we should be mindful of the potential risks, we should
also
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 recognize that
influencers
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 can be a source of inspiration and positive role models. By promoting
media
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 literacy and critical thinking, we can help young
people
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to
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navigate the world of social
media
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 in a healthy and productive way.

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task achievement
Ensure all main points are sufficently developed with relevant specific examples to fully support arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a satisfying introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Key points are generally well-supported with explanations and some examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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