Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that these days computer

games

are becoming very popular among children. Not only computer

games

but iPads and phones, laptops. I think there are many harmful effects. It can affect their learning and education values so I see why parents get concerned. I understand that

games

are fun for children and staying on their phones and iPads is addictive, but we need to make kids these days learn that it has more disadvantages than advantages.

Firstly

, teaching them in school why staying on devices is harmful and showing them what it can do.

Secondly

, parents can't keep buying computer

games

for kids and giving them everything they want so it can be easier for them and letting them see that going out when they are bored is better. Parents need to act the same way they want their children to act

Change preposition

apply

show examples

for example

never using their devices in front of them or they will find it okay for them to use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

just the same as what ur doing. Teachers need to do the same. In the end, we can't take devices out of our lives because we need them to work, study and do lots of other useful things it's not always bad so we need to steady between using them and not using them.

Submitted by shougy.a on Mon Aug 19 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mention specific studies or real-life scenarios where excessive gaming has impacted children's education or behavior.

coherence cohesion

Develop a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. An introduction should clearly state your position and outline the points you will discuss. The conclusion should summarize your key points and restate your position.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without proper transitions. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

Expand on each of your main points. Discuss how and why computer games can be harmful in more detail, and provide a more balanced view by acknowledging any potential benefits they might have for children.

task achievement

The essay clearly expresses a concern shared by many parents about the impact of computer games on children, which is a relevant and important issue.

task achievement

The intention to balance the use of technology in modern life is a practical and sensible approach, indicating a thoughtful perspective on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

221 words

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Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that tha government is wasting money on tha art and that this money could be better spend elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The arts,including arts, music and theater are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyles? Should the arts be included in the school curriculum?

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: -explain why you are interested in helping -Give details suitable past experience -suggest ways you might help with the event.