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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a lady bird and its anatomy.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a lady bird and its anatomy.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #lady #bird #anatomy
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The diagrams illustrate the various stages of a
lady bird’s
Correct your spelling
ladybird’s
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 life cycle and its body parts.
Overall
Linking Words
, There are four stages in
life
Add an article
the life
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 of a
lady bird
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ladybird
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, beginning with
egg
Correct article usage
the egg
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stage
Use synonyms
, larval
stage
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, pupa
stage
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, and adult
ladybug
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stage
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 in order.
Initially
Linking Words
, In the egg
stage
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,
ladybug
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 eggs which are laid by an adult
ladybug
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, hatch on a leaf within 2 to 5 days.
Afterward
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Afterwards
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,It transforms into a larva which has
Correct article usage
a life’s
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life’s
Change noun form
life
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 time of 21 days in a larval
stage
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.
Subsequently
Linking Words
,the pupa
stage
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 begins, where a pupa sticks itself to leaves
in
Change preposition
for
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 a week before it changes to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an adult
ladybug
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 in the final
stage
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. The second illustration presents the
ladybug
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's anatomy: it has a head with two eyes and antennae, a pronotum behind the head, and six legs-three on each side. The
ladybug
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's wings and abdomen are clearly covered by red elytra with black spots.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words stage, ladybug with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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