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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a children's development while others think it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both advantages of each method and give your own opinion.

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People have different opinions on whether they should send their children to school. Some argue that home-schooling has a more positive impact on their growth.
However
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 notion.
To begin
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 with, proponents of home-schooling often claim that young learners have greater freedom when they study at home, as it allows them to learn at their own pace, better catering to individual developmental needs.
While
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this
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 argument is understandable, traditional education offers more significant advantages for two key reasons.
Firstly
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, beyond providing academic learning, schools play a crucial role in teaching pupils how to follow rules and social norms, helping them develop into responsible citizens.
Additionally
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, attending classes gives students the opportunity to interact with peers and engage in group activities, fostering essential skills
such
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 as teamwork and collaboration. These abilities are particularly important in today’s work environments, where employers highly value effective communication and teamwork.
Therefore
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, traditional schooling offers greater benefits in preparing young individuals to become productive members of society.
Moreover
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, educational institutions have a diverse range of teachers who are qualified to instruct various subjects.
In contrast
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, it is unlikely that parents can provide the same breadth of education, as they may lack the necessary expertise in multiple disciplines, which could hinder comprehensive development.
Furthermore
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, professional educators are trained to design and deliver well-structured curricula. Parents,
however
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, often lack experience in
this
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 area and may struggle to create a balanced learning plan, potentially impairing academic growth. In conclusion,
while
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 it is understandable why some parents may choose to educate their children at home, I firmly believe that attending school offers far more advantages. Traditional education provides a more well-rounded experience, better preparing young people for the challenges of adulthood.

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task achievement
To enhance this essay to the highest level, provide more specific examples and statistics to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
For further improvement, work on refining transitions between paragraphs to ensure even smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, make sure to consistently vary sentence structures for greater engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting the position clearly from the beginning and effectively summarizing the main points at the end.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is strong, with each paragraph focusing on a specific argument that supports the overall thesis. This organization makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer provides comprehensive ideas and thorough reasoning, which address the prompt completely and thoughtfully.
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