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Band 5.5

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #phones #features #phone #•summarise #information #comparisons
The table compares the different mobile phone
features
 in 3
years
.
It is clear that
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 3
features
 are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 used in all
years
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 shown in
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
. The feature of making calls is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 used in 3
years
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 playing music is the least used in
this
years
.
Also
 sending and receiving text messages are in second place
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting used,
besides
 people
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to take photos rather than
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 games. In accordance with
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
, people are making calls more than using other
features
 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 the
percentage
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 almost 100%.
Otherwise
, people are texting with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 more than taking photos and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 why the
percentage
 in 3
years
 are 73%, 75% and 79%,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
percentage
 of taking photos
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 66%, 71% and 76%.
Furthermore
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 4
last
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 used less than others and the feature of searching
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet are most used
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 4
features
 and had considerable growth that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
first did not
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 any data,
then
 41% and 73%.
Then
 goes playing video games which
percentage
 was 17%, 42% and 41%.
Moreover
, there
goes
Verb problem
are at
show examples
 least two
features
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 playing music and recording video and their
percentage
 is 12%, 18% and 26% and no
percentage
, 9% and 35%.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words features, years, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
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