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Band 6

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison. Write at least 150 words.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by the UK residents in 1999. Summarize the information and make comparison. Write at least 150 words.
#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents #information #comparison
The presented line
graph
 gives data on attendance to and from
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
 in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1979 and 1999,
also
 the
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar
graph
 illustrates the most popular
countries
 that
UK
tourists
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 in the line
graph
 attendance overseas by
UK
residents
 was
noticably
Correct your spelling
noticeably
 more than visits to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 by abroad
tourists
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
it is clear that
 on the bar
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
UK
tourists
are more
Verb problem
have
show examples
 visited France and Spain than other
countries
. In accordance with
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
graph
 in 1979 the count of
people
 that visited in and out of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 almost equal
10
Change preposition
to 10
show examples
million
people
.
Moreover
 in 1989 count of
UK
residents
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad had significant growth to 32
million
people
,
while
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
visited
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was almost 20
million
.
Then
 in 1999 amount of
UK
residents
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 overseas rapidly increased to almost 52
million
,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
visitros
Correct your spelling
visitors
 to the
UK
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 approximately 28
million
.
Furthermore
, in agreement with
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 the most popular
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 visited by
UK
residents
 is France about 11
million
 visitors.
Also
,
people
 prefer to
went
Change the verb
go
show examples
 to Spain rather than
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and because of
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the number of
UK
tourists
 was 9
million
,
while
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
UK
tourists
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is about 4
million
.
Besides
, there is
last
 two
countries
 that
visiteed
Correct your spelling
visited
 by them is Greece and Turkey and
count
Add an article
the count
show examples
 is almost equal
2
Change preposition
between 2
show examples
and 3
million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK
residents
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, it is clear that, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, countries, uk, tourists, residents, people, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • upward trend
  • consistent increase
  • sharp rise
  • gradual growth
  • outbound travel
  • inbound tourism
  • popular destination
  • significantly outstripped
  • gap widened
  • given period
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