IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #governments #course #fees #students #study #universities
While
 it is widely debated whether the government
suppose
Wrong verb form
is supposed
show examples
 to support full budgets in pursuing one's degree or not, others argue that
by provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 monetary
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 for
students
 to register
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 academic level is a long-term investment that will bring about numerous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for the country. The reason why I support the
full-funding
Correct your spelling
full funding
show examples
 for
students
 who dreamed of studying in college will be elaborated on in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that
education
 is vital in today's world
that
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
 it should be considered to be funded by the government.
This
 is
possibly
Replace the adverb
possible
show examples
 because many
people
 viewed that
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
 revenue from taxes paid by the
people
 should be allocated for
Correct article usage
the educations
show examples
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 of their descendants. Take Australia,
for example
; free
education
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
people
 to
expanded
Change the form of the verb
expand
show examples
 their knowledge in an in-depth field of
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
 which
later
Add a missing verb
is later
show examples
 beneficial for the development of the country.
Additionally
, I personally argue in favour of the authorities
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 the main character for
this
 controversial topic seeing that
education
 is for everyone not for those who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 rich. To simply explain, nowadays
education
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to be unnecessary for some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
people
 especially those with
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 class. Thai
students
,
for instance
, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evident
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
 show that there is a significant
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 in figures of
students
 who applied to universities
due to
 their financial status. In summary,
although
 it is undeniable that the government should be
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 supporter
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
people
's higher academic courses, I am of the opinion that it is true that they should
act as
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a major role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 taking care of their
people
's
education
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
Providing specific examples to support the point about free education in Australia, such as statistical data or specific programs, would enhance the argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a more cohesive and structured conclusion that succinctly summarizes the key points made in the body paragraphs. This would strengthen the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Working on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure will improve clarity and readability. For instance, phrases like 'suppose to' should be corrected to 'are supposed to,' and 'provide monetary supports' should be 'provides monetary support.'
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and supports it with relevant arguments. This shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as Australia and Thai students, helps to illustrate the points and make the argument more relatable and concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Higher education
  • University tuition
  • Public good
  • Economic growth
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Merit-based scholarships
  • Need-based grants
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Educational equity
  • Income-contingent loans
  • Graduate tax
  • Financial aid
  • Student loans
  • Subsidize
  • Taxpayer funding
  • Underappreciation
  • Workforce development
  • Access to education
  • Higher learning institutions
  • Government expenditure
What to do next:
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