A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exerciseand avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Stairway to Heaven
To begin
with; if people
want to
a good life, they have Change preposition
apply
to
some willpower skills to Change preposition
apply
made
their Change the form of the verb
make
lifes
better than today. Health can Correct your spelling
lives
be describe
with very confused Change the verb form
be described
compenents
. At the same time, it includes mental, Correct your spelling
components
phsycal
, Correct your spelling
physical
spirituel
, Correct your spelling
spiritual
psyhological
welfare. We have to keep in balance them on the life road. That's Correct your spelling
psychological
the
important issue Correct article usage
an
thay
we need to considerCorrect your spelling
that
on
.
Many Change preposition
apply
people
believe that; a good mind exist
in the good body. If we want to Change the verb form
exists
be
a good physical Verb problem
have
appearence
when we look Correct your spelling
appearance
at
the mirror, we should take care of our Change preposition
in
body
. There are Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
wide
variety Correct article usage
a wide
options
to do it actually, just we need to Change preposition
of options
chooise
what we likeCorrect your spelling
choose
it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
; if we weren't able to be motivated by ourself
, we could Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
found
Wrong verb form
find
a
friends who want to Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
joing
Correct your spelling
join
joining
gym
.
Correct article usage
the gym
According to
research; everybody need
to Change the verb form
needs
theraphy
. Especially, in my own country Correct your spelling
therapy
people
had had mentalbreak
down for long years until society codes broke Correct your spelling
mental
due to
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
manegement
. Poverty, Correct your spelling
management
unequality
, financial crisis, lack of education and Correct your spelling
inequality
unemployement
are leading to hopeless Correct your spelling
unemployment
individual
. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
People
should consider that situation
is temporary and important Correct article usage
the situation
of
Change preposition
to
investment
Replace the word
invest
on
their health to overcome these challenges.
It can be Change preposition
in
good
thing Add an article
a good
is
Carpe Diem lifestyle and maybe it is argued that Change preposition
for is
this
is a positive development as Correct article usage
an adventerest
adventerest
journey, but Replace the word
an adventurous
this
also
produces a large number of negative consequences. The main conclusion that can be drown
is that we have only one life and we have to do one's best to live Correct your spelling
drawn
it's
best form.Correct your spelling
its
Submitted by yagmurryurttas on
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General
Consider revising sentence structures and grammar to improve clarity. Ensure that there are fewer long sentences and more varied sentence lengths.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Each paragraph should follow naturally from the previous one, ensuring smooth transitions.
Task Response
Add more specific and relevant examples to better support your main points.
Introduction and Conclusion
Provide a clearer and more concise conclusion that encapsulates the points discussed in the essay.
Content
The essay covers multiple aspects of health, including physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This comprehensive approach is commendable.
Task Response
There are attempts to support ideas with examples, such as the suggestion to join a gym with friends for motivation. This is a good approach that can be expanded further.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.