Government spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that government spend too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree ?
Many arguments say that the
government
wastes too much of the country
's funds
on national holidays
more than the obvious problems being experienced by the citizens. This
essay agrees with the latter argument. I think the government
should spend more money on their long-term problem such
as the quality
of education
.
First of all, many believe that using the country
's funds
on national holidays
is a waste and should be used for other important things. In a lot
of developing countries, the education
quality
between suburban areas
and urban areas
is very different. Citizens in urban areas
tend to have a higher-quality
education
than does in the suburbs. For example
, in Indonesia, a lot
of institutions in rural areas
do not have the same facilities as those in the city. To solve this
ongoing problem, the government
should invest a huge sum of money in education
, so that the people in the suburbs and the city have the same quality
education
and facilities.
Nevertheless
, many believe that it is reasonable for the government
to spend the country
's funds
on organizing public celebrations such
as national holidays
. People argue that national holidays
symbolize an important event in history. Furthermore
, they also
think that holding these events represents the country
's respect for their national heroes. For instance
, in Indonesia, they recently held a ceremony to celebrate their independence day in their new capital city. They celebrate this
to respect their national heroes who fought for their independence.
To summarize, I think that it is important for a country
to arrange a public celebration such
as national holidays
. However
, I do not think that the government
should waste a lot
of money on these events and instead
use them for something more important. Therefore
, I think that these funds
should be used to even out the quality
and facilities of education
in a lot
of rural areas
.Submitted by nafisa.sputri on
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task achievement
The essay contains a clear position on the topic, but could benefit from expanding on the arguments for not spending too much on celebrations. More detailed discussion on why public funds should be redirected to other specific areas, beyond just education, would strengthen the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs by better linking points and creating smoother transitions would improve the overall coherence. For instance, stronger topic sentences and concluding statements could help connect ideas more cohesively.
introduction and conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction, presenting the issue and stating the position clearly. This helps set the stage for the argument and provides a strong foundation for the reader.
introduction and conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument and reiterates the stance taken in the essay. This helps to reinforce the writer's viewpoint and provides a succinct closure.
supported main points
The use of examples to support points, such as the disparity in education quality between urban and rural areas in Indonesia, enhances the argument and makes it more compelling.
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