Some people regard the increasing business and cultural contact between countries as a positive development. Others, however, feel that this will lead to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People
have different views on whether the increasing econommical
and cultural contact between Correct your spelling
economical
economic
countries
is effective or it may lead to loss
of national values. In my opinion, as long as Correct article usage
a loss
people
value their own culture
these connections with foreign countries
will only lead to improvements in both culture
and business
.
These relations between countries
can have positive impacts on their economics
and Correct your spelling
economies
culture
. In case
of Correct article usage
the case
business
, governments can buy products that are rare in their country and sell their self-produced products. For example
, nowadays you can find all kinds of agricultural products all around the world regardless of whether the area is suitable for planting that kind of fruite
or vegetable, Correct your spelling
fruit
this
is a result of these business
contacts. With tradings
, governments can provide various facilities, from food to all kinds of technology, to ease their Replace the word
trade
citizens
living so in today's world geographical Change noun form
citizens'
constraint
shouldn't prevent Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
people
from living a comfortable life. Now we are going to examine cultural impacts, to be honest not all traditions are correct and valuable. Some traditions are there just because of the lack of knowledge that are
ancestors had or the restricted situations of those days. Correct your spelling
our
For instance
, in some countries
it is believed that black cat brings bad luck. Being able to get familiar with other Add a comma
countries,
cultures
may help us to find the weaknesses in our culture
and we can improve it so not only we can learn to respect other cultures
we can improve
ours.
Rephrase
also improve
On the other hand
, if we are going to be totally mesmerized with foreign cultures
it can lead to loss of our national identities. This
problem somehow has happened around the world. For example
, nowadays you don't see people
wear their national customes
to work or regular ceremonies, they only may wear them in traditional ceremonies. Correct your spelling
customs
This
can be a result of cultural contacts, people
don't want to seem odd to other nations so they try to dress regularly and put their nationatl
Correct your spelling
national
cutomes
aside. To remedy these issues, it is useful to teach children from Correct your spelling
customers
customer
early
Correct article usage
an early
ages
about their national identities and how important it is to preserve Fix the agreement mistake
age
it
. So Correct pronoun usage
them
knowning
other Correct your spelling
knowing
cultures
is useful but paying too much attentions
to Fix the agreement mistake
attention
it
can cause Correct pronoun usage
them
harms
.
In conclusion, having Fix the agreement mistake
harm
business
and cultural contanct
with other Correct your spelling
contact
countries
can improve our living if it is managed properly and people
are teached
well to value their national identities, Correct your spelling
taught
otherwise
it can harm our cultural values.Add a comma
otherwise,
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, it is essential to introduce more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This will showcase your ability to link ideas with concrete evidence.
task achievement
Work on avoiding grammatical inaccuracies and refining your word choice. Minor errors in spelling and word choice can slightly detract from clarity and professional tone.
coherence cohesion
You should aim to structure your paragraphs more effectively by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and well-supported arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives on this topic, setting up the discussion very well.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to illustrate your points, which helps in explaining your views clearly.
logical structure
The essay has a logical flow and is easy to follow, which makes your arguments more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite