Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themthelves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What is your opinion? Use specific rsasons to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
feel that the best way to protect each other in dangerous circumstances,the government should let them carry
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rifle
Fix the agreement mistake
rifles
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,other
people
Use synonyms
believe there will be various disadvantages and new difficulties
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
people
Use synonyms
can keep a gun with themselves.I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
opinion that
people
Use synonyms
should not be allowed to have weapons with themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.In
this
Linking Words
essay,I will explain my own view and
also
Linking Words
I will propose some significant reasons. First of all,some
people
Use synonyms
hold the view that they should be allowed to have
guns
Use synonyms
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas,
due to
Linking Words
their safety.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who are living in some poor regions with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high rate of crime feel that they can protect their family ahead of robbers or kidnappers.They might believe that they can only overcome risky situations provided that they are allowed to use the
guns
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who advocate carrying rifles argue that they are right to have freedom in order to be safe in some tough circumstances.Take
burglaryas
Correct your spelling
burglary as
burglary
an example. Whilst,I'm totally against of
this
Linking Words
idea,because of some striking reasons.One of the most momentous reasons
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
that carrying
guns
Use synonyms
may climb the rate of death and violence in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,if the majority of
people
Use synonyms
can have weapons freely in the streets,they will get used to
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
them from their childhood which
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
lead to more killing and violence.Another reason for my disagreement is that the concern of
people
Use synonyms
about public safety will soar in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
people
Use synonyms
keep
guns
Use synonyms
in the streets.In
this
Linking Words
case,at no once do
people
Use synonyms
stay calm in their cities.
To conclude
Linking Words
,there is no doubt that some
people
Use synonyms
feel there are several benefits when the government
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
hold weapons.
However
Linking Words
,I tend to be completely against
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
opinion because of
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
violence and
exacerbating
Wrong verb form
exacerbates
show examples
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Your essay needs more relevant specific examples to strengthen the argument. Including concrete incidents or statistical data would make your points more compelling.
general advice
Improve your spelling and grammar for a higher score. Errors like 'themselves' misspelled as 'themthelves' and 'burglaryas' as 'burglaryas' should be corrected.
general advice
Enhance your essay by varying sentence structures and using more advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of using simple sentences, try combining them using subordinating conjunctions.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
logical structure
There is a good attempt to provide a logical structure and support your main points with reasons.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Second Amendment
  • right to bear arms
  • self-protection
  • concealed carry
  • civil rights
  • gun control legislation
  • public safety
  • firearm regulations
  • background checks
  • concealed handgun permits
  • stand-your-ground laws
  • accidental discharge
  • gun violence
  • crime deterrence
  • escalation of conflict
  • law enforcement challenges
  • responsible ownership
  • community safety initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: