Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themthelves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What is your opinion? Use specific rsasons to support your answer.
Some
people
feel that the best way to protect each other in dangerous circumstances,the government should let them carry a
Correct article usage
apply
rifle
.Fix the agreement mistake
rifles
However
,other people
believe there will be various disadvantages and new difficulties,
if Remove the comma
apply
people
can keep a gun with themselves.I strongly agree with this
opinion that people
should not be allowed to have weapons with themselves in the
society.In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay,I will explain my own view and also
I will propose some significant reasons.
First of all,some people
hold the view that they should be allowed to have guns
in the
public areas,Correct article usage
apply
due to
their safety.This
is because,
Remove the comma
apply
people
who are living in some poor regions with the
high rate of crime feel that they can protect their family ahead of robbers or kidnappers.They might believe that they can only overcome risky situations provided that they are allowed to use the Correct article usage
a
guns
.Moreover
,people
who advocate carrying rifles argue that they are right to have freedom in order to be safe in some tough circumstances.Take burglaryas
an example.
Whilst,I'm totally against of Correct your spelling
burglary as
burglary
this
idea,because of some striking reasons.One of the most momentous reasons in
that carrying Correct your spelling
is
guns
may climb the rate of death and violence in a
Correct article usage
the
long-term
.Correct your spelling
long term
For instance
,if the majority of people
can have weapons freely in the streets,they will get used to hold
and Wrong verb form
holding
use
them from their childhood which Wrong verb form
using
is
lead to more killing and violence.Another reason for my disagreement is that the concern of Verb problem
will
people
about public safety will soar in the
societyCorrect article usage
apply
,
if Remove the comma
apply
people
keep guns
in the streets.In this
case,at no once do people
stay calm in their cities.
To conclude
,there is no doubt that some people
feel there are several benefits when the government let
them Wrong verb form
lets
to
hold weapons.Change the verb form
apply
However
,I tend to be completely against of
Change preposition
apply
this
opinion because of creating
violence and Wrong verb form
creates
exacerbating
Wrong verb form
exacerbates
situation
.Add an article
the situation
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relevant specific examples
Your essay needs more relevant specific examples to strengthen the argument. Including concrete incidents or statistical data would make your points more compelling.
general advice
Improve your spelling and grammar for a higher score. Errors like 'themselves' misspelled as 'themthelves' and 'burglaryas' as 'burglaryas' should be corrected.
general advice
Enhance your essay by varying sentence structures and using more advanced vocabulary. For example, instead of using simple sentences, try combining them using subordinating conjunctions.
introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
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