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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 3

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 3
#city #brandfield #planners #mall #area #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given map displays the
city
 of Brandfield. A new shopping mall is going to be constructed there, and two
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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 were marked, which are S1 and S2.
Overall
, S1 is
placed
Verb problem
located
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at
Change preposition
on
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 the North side of the
city
 and surrounded by the
City
 Centre, the Residental Area, the railway and the road.
While
Correct word choice
apply
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, S2 is
at
Change preposition
on
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 the South-East side
and
Correct word choice
apply
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is between the railway and the road, and
placed
Wrong verb form
is located
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nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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Industrial
Correct article usage
an Industrial
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 Estate.
Firstly
, S2 is not the best place to build a mall. There is one main reason for that. It is far away from the Housing Estate, from which most of the customers will come, so it will not be comfortable for them to drive or go by train all the way to the other side of the
city
.
Secondly
, S1 might probably be the most convenient option. It is surrounded by practically every area and driveways,
besides
 Golf Course Park and Industrial Estate.
Nevertheless
, it is not that far
off
Change preposition
from
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 other vital areas in Brandfield, since it is located near the
City
 Centre.
Also
, it will be more cozy for residents from other
neighbour
Replace the word
neighbouring
show examples
 cities from all directions.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • residential area
  • industrial zone
  • city center
  • main road
  • benefits
  • convenience
  • traffic congestion
  • accessibility
  • workers
  • compare
  • differences
  • pros and cons
  • suitable
  • analysis
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