The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise more?

Exercise
plays an integral role in fostering a balanced and healthy
life
.
Although
exercising regularly is beneficial for health, a plethora of
people
do not have enough
time
in their lives to spare. I contend it is because
people
are swamped
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
work practices and spend most of their
time
on social
media
.
First,
the majority of the population is employed, working from 9 till 5. A huge amount of
time
is dedicated to work;
hence
,
people
do not get
time
to focus on their lifestyle.
For example
, reports state that nearly 75% of Canadians do not
exercise
daily because of the workload. Many
state
Change to a plural noun
states
show examples
that employers ask to submit reports and research before deadlines, which increases the pressure and stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
Therefore
, they are unable to keep themselves fit and healthy.
Second,
staying up on social
media
is another reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
people
do not often
exercise
. Most of their
time
is taken up by apps
such
as Instagram, Facebook and
Twitters
Fix the agreement mistake
Twitter
show examples
, which
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
over the remaining
time
of the day.
According to
one research published by Harvard University, since 2020 youth
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
decreased the practice of keeping themselves healthy, as they spend 11 hours of their day, scrolling on social
media
platforms. So,
such
practices can be the reasons that little or no
people
exercise
.
However
, it is significant to know that
exercise
plays an intrinsic role in one’s
life
. Regular
exercise
can be fostered by enforcing certain limitations
such
as allowing the employees to leave earlier and by regulating
time
spent on social
media
.
Furthermore
, companies must
also
emphasize the importance of
exercise
, as it improves
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
and mental health of an individual. Not only
this
,
low impact
Add a hyphen
low-impact
show examples
exercises
such
as yoga, can improve the
overall
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
and intellectual abilities of a person.
Likewise
, promoting
exercise
Change the noun form
exercises
show examples
such
as high impact and cardiovascular can augment activeness and health, respectively.
Therefore
, it is suggested that companies must encourage their employees to
exercise
, as it will enhance their ability to work. In a nutshell, it is imperative that exercising regularly is encouraged, or it will lead to numerous fatal diseases like hypertension, stress and obesity.
Lastly
, staying healthy and active leads to a fulfilling
life
and a happier
life
.
Submitted by uroojzulqernain on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a more varied use of transitions between paragraphs. Utilizing a wider range of linking words and phrases can enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments. Acknowledging and refuting opposing viewpoints can demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the central argument.
task achievement
The task response is complete and thorough, addressing both parts of the question with relevant points and examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • hectic
  • commitments
  • discourages
  • accessibility
  • awareness campaigns
  • diverse
  • longevity
  • feasible
  • seamlessly
  • initiatives
  • affordable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: