The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Write a report describing the information shown in the two pie graphs.

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls #report #information #two

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The pie charts below compare

boys

Use synonyms

and

girls

Use synonyms

engaging

with

Change preposition

show examples

six different cultural and leisure activities. It is noticeable there is a similarity between

boys

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and

girls

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that relates

Change preposition

show examples

listening to music.

While

Linking Words

the proportion of reading is the big difference between countered groups.

In addition

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

are participating in some types of hubbies unlike

boys

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as well as

Linking Words

boys

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like many activities which

girls

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do not. 10% of both groups are interested in listening to music which is the least girl’s preference.

As well as

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the most significant contrast goes for reading with 21% for

girls

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and

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2% popularity among

boys

Use synonyms

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

shown

Verb problem

apply

show examples

it is the

last

Linking Words

usual activity.

Also

Linking Words

, most

boys

Use synonyms

prefer to play computer games which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reached

Change preposition

apply

show examples

34%

while

Linking Words

girls

Use synonyms

play it as

third

Correct article usage

the third

show examples

likely

Correct quantifier usage

most likely

show examples

activity with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

proportion of 16.

Moreover

Linking Words

, dancing is the highest percentage of girl’s activities with 27%.

In addition

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boys

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like basketball, skateboarding and, soccer with 26%, 11% and, 17% respectively.

Whereas

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girls

Use synonyms

prefer to do gymnastics and netball with 11% and 15% in order.

Submitted by nikimohamadi72 on Wed Aug 21 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, in addition, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie graph/chart
survey
cultural activities
leisure activities
participate
percentage
engage in
contrast
significantly
minimally
gender differences
equal participation
synthesize
trends
analyze
highlight
unexpected
popular/unpopular

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is now very common in most workplaces. How do you think has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying to much on technology?

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?