IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that well-known companies should pay more wages to their CEOs and professional workers than other workers or the salaries should be the same for all personnel. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the more expertise, the
more
Correct word choice
higher
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wage
Correct article usage
the wage
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. On one hand, the predominant factor that some people believe that all employees should have the same salary is
due to
Linking Words
 the superficial view. In means that advocate of
this
Linking Words
 statement think everyone with any level of skill does their related
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 based on their abilities and
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in a factory, a machine operator does defined duty in the best way,
while
Linking Words
 at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 their manager is struggling in meeting for new investment to enhance the efficiency of the process. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, both of them (
operator
Fix the agreement mistake
operators
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 and
manager
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managers
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) are making
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
a maximum
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 effort of themselves at the same time, but with different
skills
Use synonyms
 that they have, so they should receive the same salary for their
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
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.
On the other hand
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, the skilled and talented person has different views about their abilities and
skills
Use synonyms
. They
also
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 have various expectations from their company, and their income is one of them. Executives believe that endeavor they do to capture their ability and
skills
Use synonyms
 gives them the option to
catch
Verb problem
earn
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 higher
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 than their other colleagues, and I think
that is
Linking Words
 true. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 individuals who are specialized in specific parts have cost their time and energy to gain
this
Linking Words
 success,
therefore
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 they are eligible to have more salary. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 all of the personnel in the company do their work well, individuals with a special talent or skilled persons should have higher salaries, because of their previous tries, and I believe
this
Linking Words
 law is fair.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement. Also, ensure that each body paragraph begins with a topic sentence that outlines the main point of the paragraph.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific, varied examples to support your points. This could help in making your arguments more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. For instance, you could elaborate on how CEOs and executives contribute to a company’s success differently from other employees with more detailed scenarios and explanations.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear stance on the topic, which gives clarity to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance while reinforcing the main points discussed in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • executive compensation
  • income disparity
  • corporate governance
  • incentive structures
  • ethical considerations
  • competitive advantage
  • demotivation
  • pay structures
  • social inequality
  • talent acquisition
  • company culture
  • economic impact
  • leadership roles
  • employee morale
What to do next:
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