At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, comparedd with the number of the older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the advantages?
Nowadays, in some countries, there is a large number of young
people
in comparison with the count of older people
. It is clear that
the young generation
is more interested in technologies
that are developing more and more now, and because of that
they will adapt faster to the future. Add a comma
that,
Also
, this
large count of younger population
may cause
unemployment
.
The main advantage of the younger generation
is that they are learning and adapting to technologies
faster which are improving every day. In the future, there will be more complicated technologies
that will be hard to understand for older people
, while
the younger generation
will understand fast
how that works or how to fix it. Rephrase
quickly
For example
, my grandfather cannot understand how to transfer money from one account to another, meanwhile, my nephew being 6 years can do it easily.
Furthermore
, in the future large young adult population
may cause
unemployment
. There are many workplaces for people
and because of the large population
of young people
there would not remain any job vacation then
some percent
of them will remain as unemployed. Change the spelling
per cent
For example
, in China, there is 25 per cent of unemployed people
because there is a big population
and limited job vacations. Besides
this
young generation
can create new professions that bond with technologies
to get rid of unemployment
.
In conclusion, the young generation
has a good understanding the technology, but in fact of large count of people
can cause
unemployment
. By this
, I want to say that the young population
may cause
unemployment
, but they can use technologies
to
Change preposition
for
people
's benefits
and help humanity Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
instead
of creating a problem.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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task achievement
Try to develop each idea more fully, offering additional analysis or examples. For instance, expanding on how technologies can specifically benefit different sectors or discussing other advantages or disadvantages beyond the two main points mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument. For example, 'Moreover,' instead of 'Furthermore' at the beginning of the third paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main points are easy to follow.
task achievement
The examples provided (e.g., the grandfather and nephew, the unemployment rate in China) help to illustrate the points made.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...