Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

#people #employment #job

In the contemporary era, it is seen that older

people

require

Wrong verb form

are required

show examples

to challenge youngsters to get the same level of employment.

However

this

essay will discuss the possible causes behind

this

trend and provide valid solutions to solve the overarching problem. There are several causes associated with

this

trend. First of all,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has increased taxes on every product in the market .

Due to

rise

Correct article usage

the rise

show examples

in expenses, all ages of

people

are being pushed to earn money so that they can maintain their daily standard of living.

However

this

movement comes with certain drawbacks; rivalry and competition can be seen between different ages. Many young

people

will forget the age gap and start disrespecting the elderly

people

to get the job. Companies have

to begin

implementing various new policies in order to combat

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

issue. They can start introducing the age questionnaire

while

sending out the interview calls.

By doing

Change preposition

Doing

show examples

so, not only helps in mitigating competition but

also

avoid

Correct subject-verb agreement

avoids

show examples

different

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

of ages at the interview.

Also

, several tests could be introduced by the employers

such

as typing, analytical and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

This

will help the HR to filter out the person who

posesses

Correct your spelling

possesses

all the required

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

knowledge

Change preposition

of knowledge

show examples

To conclude

although

different age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

start competing with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

for improving

Change preposition

to improve

show examples

their daily lives,

this

approach in turn becomes the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

developing rage against each other.

However

, with the proper management

techniques

Add a comma

techniques,

show examples

it would be easily balanced.

Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on Thu Aug 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides valid points but make sure to develop them with specific examples and detailed explanations. This could significantly improve your score.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases. Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and is supported by relevant details to improve paragraph coherence.

coherence cohesion

Commendable effort in structuring your introduction and conclusion logically. Both are present and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Your main points are clear and relevant to the task. You have successfully identified problems and suggested solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

International travel and tourism have become easier and more affordable. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Older Building is preserving worth more than other one

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the ocuntry side is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem?