Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

#people #employment #job

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In the contemporary era, it is seen that older

people

Use synonyms

require

Wrong verb form

are required

show examples

to challenge youngsters to get the same level of employment.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the possible causes behind

this

Linking Words

trend and provide valid solutions to solve the overarching problem. There are several causes associated with

this

Linking Words

trend. First of all,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

has increased taxes on every product in the market .

Due to

Linking Words

rise

Correct article usage

the rise

show examples

in expenses, all ages of

people

Use synonyms

are being pushed to earn money so that they can maintain their daily standard of living.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

movement comes with certain drawbacks; rivalry and competition can be seen between different ages. Many young

people

Use synonyms

will forget the age gap and start disrespecting the elderly

people

Use synonyms

to get the job. Companies have

to begin

Linking Words

implementing various new policies in order to combat

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

issue. They can start introducing the age questionnaire

while

Linking Words

sending out the interview calls.

By doing

Change preposition

Doing

show examples

so, not only helps in mitigating competition but

also

Linking Words

avoid

Correct subject-verb agreement

avoids

show examples

different

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

of ages at the interview.

Also

Linking Words

, several tests could be introduced by the employers

such

Linking Words

as typing, analytical and

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

This

Linking Words

will help the HR to filter out the person who

posesses

Correct your spelling

possesses

all the required

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

knowledge

Change preposition

of knowledge

show examples

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

different age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

people

Use synonyms

start competing with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

for improving

Change preposition

to improve

show examples

their daily lives,

this

Linking Words

approach in turn becomes the reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

developing rage against each other.

However

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, with the proper management

techniques

Add a comma

techniques,

show examples

it would be easily balanced.

Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on Thu Aug 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides valid points but make sure to develop them with specific examples and detailed explanations. This could significantly improve your score.

coherence cohesion

There are a few grammatical mistakes and awkward phrases. Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and is supported by relevant details to improve paragraph coherence.

coherence cohesion

Commendable effort in structuring your introduction and conclusion logically. Both are present and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Your main points are clear and relevant to the task. You have successfully identified problems and suggested solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same job. What problem this causes? What are solution?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor, such as momey and appearance. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier anf live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?