Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
Changing
things
is important
Correct article usage
an important
activities
in our Fix the agreement mistake
activity
life
. Some individuals avoid changes and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
doing
Wrong verb form
do
same
Correct article usage
the same
things
in
their all life, Change preposition
apply
however
, others people prefer opposite
side and believe that Correct article usage
the opposite
changing
is always remarkable Replace the word
change
things
. I party
agree with both Verb problem
apply
argument
.
In recent years, Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
the
most people argued that Correct article usage
apply
change
is always a good thing because it is the only way to succeed in the long run. If successful people and organisations are examined, it will be found that they all have one thing in common; They keep trying new things
. They are willing to experiment and fail a lot in order to innovate. This
may have downside
in the short term but allows them to remain relevant and competitive over longer periods of time.
Add an article
a downside
On the other hand
, some individuals who resist change
may be overly worried about the associated risks. For example
, consider those who choose to stay in a low-paying job they dislike. They might fear that if they quit, they won’t be able to find another position, putting the stability of their current job at risk. However
, I believe that holding on to the status quo won’t protect them from risks. Eventually, they will face job loss due to
automation. As billionaire entrepreneur Peter Johns famously said, "In a world that's changing so quickly, the biggest risk you can take is not taking any risk."
In conclusion, while
a change
in direction may involve certain risks, it ultimately brings long-term benefits to individuals. For
this
reason, I believe that change
is inherently positive when considered from a long-term perspective.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your partial agreement with both views, which is good. However, avoid small grammatical errors such as 'doing same things' should be 'doing the same things' and 'others people' should be 'other people.'
coherence cohesion
Your body paragraphs are organized logically and develop your points well. However, the transition between the first and second paragraphs could be smoother. Also, avoid using terms that are too informal for academic writing such as 'upside' and 'downside.' Try 'advantages' and 'disadvantages' instead.
task achievement
There's a minor inconsistency in your essay. Your introduction says you 'party agree with both,' but your conclusion leans strongly toward change being inherently positive. Ensure that your introduction, body, and conclusion align more consistently.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples. For instance, regarding people resisting change in their jobs, you could mention a known case study or statistical data to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your use of a quote from Peter Johns is effective and adds weight to your argument. Good job!
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
Your essay balances both views, which is essential for a 'Discuss both views' task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.