Q. Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity.
In recent times, criminal activities are becoming
increasingly popular among people living across the globe.
This
can be attributed to a number of reasons. And from my perspective, prompt actions from
both the government and individuals
, within the society, would be helpful in controlling this
disturbing trend.
what are the causes of crime?
The reasons as to why people commit crimes are countless, however
, unemployment, drug (substance) abuse and individual social problems; top the list of major contributing factors.
Firstly
, in many countries across the globe
there are reasonably high rates of unemployment, especially in underdeveloped and developing countries. Add a comma
globe,
As a result
, a significant number of these countries’ population
resort to illegal activities that include cybercrimes, drug trafficking, Fix the agreement mistake
populations
theft
—in order to earn a living.
Correct word choice
and theft
Secondly
, abuse of drugs and substances is another major reason for the rise in crimes. Although
there is little evidence regarding the relationship between to present surge in crimes and the abuse of
drugs, anecdotal reports suggest that majority
of addicted Correct article usage
the majority
individuals
; especially youths, often indulge in activities that threaten public tranquility
.
Change the spelling
tranquillity
Also
, social problems from individuals
living within the society play a role in the crime rates of such
community
. Fix the agreement mistake
communities
This
is because individuals
with certain problems, such
as a
poor Remove the article
apply
self esteem
, mental depression or even a maladaptive coping mechanism to stress; tend to feel alienated from Add a hyphen
self-esteem
the
society, causing them to become aggressive or destructive to people around them.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by temibusari06 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, identifying key causes of crime such as unemployment, drug abuse, and social problems. To enhance your score, ensure you provide more specific examples or data to support your points better. This will make your arguments even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and body paragraphs. However, adding a conclusion to summarize your points and suggest potential solutions would improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Using connecting words and phrases to link your ideas can enhance the flow of your essay. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Consequently,' or 'In addition' can help guide the reader through your arguments.
introduction
Your introduction is engaging and effectively outlines the essay's topic and your viewpoint.
supported main points
You have clearly identified and explained three primary causes of crime, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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