IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full-time and part-time training in 2006.

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students of different age groups who studied in Australia for full-time and part-time training in 2006.
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The two bar charts illustrate the ratio of male and female students of different age groups who studied for full-time and part-time training in Australia during 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the two genders from 20
years
Use synonyms
 to 24
years
Use synonyms
 had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest point in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
part-time training.
According to
Linking Words
 what was shown, from 15 to 19
years
Use synonyms
, the
female
Correct quantifier usage
number of female
show examples
 students was slightly increasing than male students in both
training
Change to a plural noun
trainings
show examples
:
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time by 5% and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full-time by 1%. What is more, the percentage of females in both training between 25 to 29
years
Use synonyms
 had the same level
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 8%,
while
Linking Words
 the ratio of males
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full-time was
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 2%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender distribution
  • age groups
  • full-time training
  • part-time training
  • participation rates
  • educational goals
  • career goals
  • socio-economic factors
  • trend analysis
  • comparison
  • male students
  • female students
  • percentage
  • Australia
  • 2006
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