IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #information #subjects #students #two #middle #schools #school #b #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar chart represents the
number
Use synonyms
 of students who
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 the six
subjects
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A and
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 contributed to
sport
Use synonyms
 in
School
Use synonyms
 A at 36.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 is seen in
science
Use synonyms
 at 2 in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 A,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
sport
Add an article
the sport
show examples
 was the most popular
subject
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of the rest were relatively popular. The lowest
subject
Use synonyms
 is noticed in craft/drawing at 4, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 9
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 different from
sport
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the popularity in
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
 was craft/drawing at 25. Turning to
School
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, craft/drawing, language and social
science
Use synonyms
 were the
Use synonyms
subject student
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects students
show examples
 enjoyed more than at 10.
Science
Use synonyms
 was the least popular
subject
Use synonyms
 at 2 and lower than almost 13 times in the most
popularity
Replace the word
popular
show examples
. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
School
Use synonyms
 A exceeded
in
Correct pronoun usage
those in
show examples
School
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, with the exception of
science
Use synonyms
 and
sport
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by may.pattareepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, subjects, school, b, sport, science, subject with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • comparative data
  • favorite subjects
  • middle schools
  • horizontal axis
  • vertical axis
  • quantifies
  • preference
  • initial observation
  • significantly greater interest
  • shared enthusiasm
  • favored
  • attracts more students
  • draws the highest number
  • popularity
  • outliers
  • subject preferences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: